I love my country. I’m proud to be an American and I’ll never take my freedoms for granted. That said, I learned a couple of things overseas that I might not have realized in America, at least not this year…
1. The Answers to My Issues
There is something about being away from your possessions and in a place where you aren’t familiar with the customs, don’t know anybody, and can’t speak the language that makes the answers to the issues you’ve been grappling with seem suddenly so clear. I solved many of the issues I’d been dealing with my entire adult life on this trip and I came back feeling more grounded, stable, and mature. I’m sure I would have solved many of them sooner or later even if I had not traveled, but something about travel speeds up the process 10-fold. Travel is like intensive psychotherapy. If you’re in a rut, travel somewhere that takes you out of your comfort zone.
2. First Impressions are Deceiving.
I can’t tell you how many times I struck up a conversation with some dirty, toothless guy on a street corner in Bum Fuck No Where only to discover that he had three children, spoke five languages, was an entrepreneur, had a pilot’s license, once lived out-of-the-country, had survived a war and a stint in a refugee camp, and the list continues. Pretty much everyone had a compelling story to tell. Many of the most compelling stories came from the people I least expected.
3. Their Stereotypes Are Just as Wrong as Our Stereotypes.
I went in there with some stereotypes about them (e.g., Muslim women are repressed) but what I didn’t anticipate was the stereotypes they had about us. Apparently, because I am a Westerner I live a lifestyle like The Real Housewives. (A shopkeeper in Cairo asked me if Daddy was financing my RTW trip.) One stereotype that really made me livid was that Western women are an automatic lay. I met plenty of gentlemen who didn’t go there, but there were also scumbags who assumed I’d shack up with them after one meal or cup of coffee and who acted shocked/angry when I turned them down.
4. Islam Can Be a Peaceful Religion.
In Cairo, my Muslim friend, Hend, tried to convince me that Islam was not the corrupt religion I’d pinned it for post 9/11. I had two objections to Islam when I started this trip: the supposed second-class treatment of women, and the acts of terror committed in the name of religion. Hend explained that passages in the Koran preach tolerance, peacefulness, and respect toward women. In fact, the Koran says that women are equal to men. When I pointed out that leaders in some nations use Islam to justify second-class treatment of women, she argued that these leaders are misquoting the Koran and that repression of women is more a country/cultural phenomenon, than a religious phenomenon. It’s the reason why Muslim countries like Turkey and Egypt are relatively progressive in their treatment of women, whereas women can’t even drive a car in Saudi Arabia. OK, but what about terrorism? Again, Hend reiterated that Islam is a peaceful religion. “Osama Bin Laden is not a real Muslim,” she said. I heard this point echoed not only be Hend, but by Muslims all over the world on my trip: “Osama Bin Laden is not a real Muslim,” “Osama Bin Laden is not one of us,” “A true Muslim would never do what Osama Bin Laden did.”
5. Single People are Everywhere.
If you’re a single person, I’m sure this fear-mongering tactic has been used on you: “You better find someone quickly because the longer you wait the harder it’s going to be to find someone. Eventually, you’ll be so old that there will be no one left to marry.” On the same token, I know people who stay in unhappy, dysfunctional relationships because they are too afraid to be single. Certainly, people that love, understand, and tolerate us are not a dime a dozen, and when we find a terrific person we should never take them for granted. But I disagree with the notion of settling for someone that does not make you happy simply because you think you will never find better or because you think there is no else out there. I met hundreds of decent, single people on this trip. Some were divorcees, some had ended a long-term dating relationship, some just hadn’t found the right person yet. Not only are there plenty of people out there, but there is great diversity. Keep living your life and following your dreams, ignore the fear-mongering naysayers, and do not despair.
6. A Day Can Begin at Night.
So many times on my trip I’d be walking back to my hostel at 5 p.m. thinking what a great day I’d had, how it was winding down now and I was just going to take a shower, write for a few hours, and hit the hay. Then I’d bump into some person near my hostel and we’d hit it off and end up having a wonderfully insightful conversation over kick-ass cuisine. A day is precious, and it can surprise you and teach you the most amazing lessons at any hour. Let yourself be surprised and consider each encounter as a gift from the universe.
7. Writing Is Hard
On the trip, I forced myself to write for three to four hours per day. My writing improved when I made it a habit (in the past I’d only written when I was inspired). But I also realized that writing is hard. There were plenty of days where I stared at a blank computer screen or sheet of paper and stared and stared and stared. I never knew what the finished product was going to look like. I’d start writing about one topic and realize mid-writing that I really wanted to write about something different (and I’d veer off course). Sometimes it took me three hours to write a blog entry that took 30 seconds to read. Writing is not a glamorous job. That said, there is nothing else I’d rather do for a living. But the act of creating something is difficult; oftentimes it’s exceedingly, despairingly difficult.